Juggling - A big one and a little one

I won't deny that I find being a stay at home Mum hard work. I've had periods of working part time since having children, so I've experienced that other life where you can spend the day sitting quietly at a desk, perhaps enjoying a hot drink and an uninterrupted chat with other adults. Some days now, the only real life conversation that I have is with the postman or the checkout assistant.

One of the things that I find hardest to manage is that I'm not very good with babies and toddlers. I just don't know what to do with them. I'm full of ideas, crafts and activities, but I need an appreciative audience, and young toddlers frustrate me with their inability to follow instructions and short attention spans. I love having all this time with Harry to spend doing fun things, but it's so difficult to concentrate on him when there is toddler Mia demanding just as much, if not more, attention.

Before Mia was born, and when she was a baby that still had naps, Harry and I used to do jigsaws together, play simple games, do crafts, read books. Now we simply can't do any of these things while she is around. She sits on jigsaws, she takes them apart, she won't sit still and be read to.

I feel like my time is spent constantly juggling the different needs of the two children. I need to talk to Harry, he loves having things explained to him and learning how things work. He enjoy sitting down quietly and crafting or playing. Mia is more into physical play, being chased around, playing hiding games, climbing on things.

I find it difficult to do crafts or playdough with the two of them at the same time, mainly because Mia eats everything. They do both enjoy messy play, as long as I make sure that I put out two of everything, but Mia usually bores first and has to be taken off for a bath, leaving Harry playing alone without any interaction from me.

I feel terribly guilty that Harry is missing out on a lot of one on one interaction, playing games, perhaps working on learning some letters and numbers. But I also feel guilty for thinking that Mia is in the way, and of course she doesn't receive any of the individual attention that Harry had when he was her age.

So at the moment, my parenting is all about juggling - trying to keep both little ones occupied, entertained, and secure in the feeling that they are receiving enough of my attention.