A sad day - passing on the baby things

The other week I sold our baby car seat and first pram/pushchair travel system on eBay. We didn't get very much for it and I didn't expect to. The pushchair in particular was pretty battered and very well used, and the storage basket underneath was worn through. What took me by surprise was how upset I was to see it go. The lady that bought the pushchair was delighted with it, so I know that it has gone to a good home, but as I watched her load it into the boot of her car I nearly ran after her and told her I'd changed my mind. After she had gone I sobbed and sobbed, and over a week later I'm still feeling sad. Rationally I know that it had to go, it was very bulky, and there's no point hoarding things that you don't need when someone else can still use them. We have a couple of smaller, easily folded pushchairs that are much more practical for daily use. But that particular pushchair has seen me through some emotional times.

The first few months with Harry were difficult, and the pushchair is intrinsically linked with that time. We have walked for miles together, mostly in a desperately sleep-deprived, zombie-like state. I've spent hours peering anxiously under the pram hood, hoping that baby had finally fallen asleep. We've marched around pavements both near our house and further away. We've been up on the Downs, and over pebbles on the beach. We've been around town, around the library and around the supermarket. The handles and basket underneath have been hung with shopping bags, change bags, a watermelon (which was what did for the storage basket underneath) and it has had doormats, empty storage boxes and a fireguard balanced on top of both it and baby.

Remembering buying the pushchair takes me back to that confusing time when we had very little idea what we needed, and were shocked at the amount that even an ex-display model could cost. It took hours with the two of us poring over instruction booklets to learn how to assemble and collapse it. Then I remember very clearly the first time that we strapped each tiny baby into the car seat and took them home from the hospital, and the first time that we took each out for a walk in the pram, all bundled up in their jackets and blankets.

Oddly I have no real problem in getting rid of baby clothes, which I know is difficult for a lot of people. As the children grow out of things I put them straight into carrier bags, then when I have several lying around I take them down the charity shop. Although I've kept a couple of favourite items, most of their clothes have gone. For some reason passing on the pushchair has really affected me. I don't think it's just the realisation that there will be no more babies. I'm happy with that decision, and I'm enjoying the little ones much more as they get older. Perhaps it's just closing the door on a very tiring and emotional few years of my life.